The Baby and the Bathwater

There's an expression that really didn't resonate with me until recently: "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater". As silly as it sounds, it is far too true. Different components of Judaism all too often spend a lot of time preaching various aspects of Halacha- and often time they pick one to preach to the exclusion of many others. This forces a strong commitment to many of the stringencies in Halacha, to the exclusion of many less stringent, but just as important laws. More than that, when a Jew finds himself struggling with the stringencies of a commandment, he's all too likely to throw out the entire commandment than to just stop following the stringencies.

As some examples, there are people who think just because they throw out Shomer Negiah, they should begin having sex. THere are a lot of levels between the two, and a lot more problems Halachically with having sex then there is just touching a member of the opposite gender. A less intense example, but equally as important, would be the commandment of Tzitzit- many people feel the need to wear the wool ones, and since those are too heavy- they'd rather wear nothing at all than just get a lighter fabric. And the ultimate example- a person who struggles with his sexuality, and feels he can't reconcile it with his religion may simply just throw out the religion.

Personally, my sexuality and religion don't fit together. But I know that I cannot throw out the baby just because I need to drain the bathwater. I know that I should start wearing Tzitzit again because the commandment isn't for a wool pair, it's just for a simple four cornered garment. And everyone should make sure that their struggle with a commandment or two or all 613, isn't over a stringency that has been misconstrued to be the entity of the commandment, and perhaps focus on going back to the basics.