I'm upset for a number of reasons. One, because I have other topics to write about. Two, because I have to address people who think they know all about my life even though they've never experienced it, and three because people can't be happy with small accomplishments. I'm mostly responding to this- Hirhurim.
I can't explain the thought process of other people who are unhappy with the Statement of Principles (now in Hebrew!) issued and signed by over seventy Orthodox leaders and the list is growing. Those who haven't signed have said as follows: Don't ask, don't tell. We don't need to know who in a congregation is gay, and who is straight, all that matters in a Shul is that a person is Jewish. I would ordinarily agree on a fundamental level, but realistically, Rabbi's, that's not true! It's not true that no one judges in a Shul, and it's not true that a person can just grow old and single and no one will try and set them up other than their parents. And even if a few of this person's friends know that they are gay and word doesn't spread (not possible, but let's just say) those friends will watch the person in Shul, and wonder if the Rabbi will accept him, or if he belongs in the congregation. Further, when I've been in congregations and I wasn't out, I felt very uncomfortable taking honors like everyone else. I just felt like I didn't belong. This statement assures me that regardless of the congregation, if the Rabbi has signed on I know that I belong, and I feel comfortable just being like everyone else.
Also, enough of this don't ask don't tell. Don't tell me that the only people who need to know are my parents and maybe a few friends. You know as well as I do that everyone's Shabbos table revolves around who was in Shul that is single and can be set up, or who is dating and who is not and why they don't want to be set up. It's much easier for a person to say "I'm gay" then it is to lie, a million times over, about why they're not ready to date, which, by the age of 25 basically a person runs out of excuses.
Number one pet peeve, stated both in Hirhurim and by R' Twersky at the infamous Shiur- as the line that caused me to walk out in the middle- that coming out is only a result and product of Western culture and the 21st century. Ifrst of all, historically that's just not true. And I will tell you from a personal standpoint, I did not come out because Western culture made it an option. I came out because I was miserable in the closet. I felt empty, alone, like I had no purpose, and like my life would never become anything worthwhile, and I hated myself. And since I came out things have only, Baruch Hashem, improved. So don't tell me why I came out, and why coming out is not necessary for a gay person to do and they should just keep it to themselves. You get to rub your marriages, perfect families and children and heterosexual dating stories in my face every day, I'm allowed to tell you why I don't have those things like everyone else. You get to say on facebook you're interested in women, I'm allowed to say I'm interested in men. It's as simple as that. Until everyone who is heterosexual keeps "don't ask don't tell" gay people shouldn't have to either.