Sunday, July 18, 2010


A few months ago, I spoke about how sometimes a person gives up part of themselves for a specific cause, if they want to. I wanted to expand upon that, to explain that I am not the only person. Something that I am only coming to grips with now, is that this is not only my fight, my cause, my passion. There are so many more out there- just like me- who are struggling, or even who have come to terms with who they are- but still feel passionately about bringing the issue of sexuality or even homosexuality to the forefront of the Orthodox world.

We are many- and we are finally giving each other strength to show the Jewish world that we are here. I know that I do not advocate for someone to come out- ever- if they don't feel it's right for them. But so many ARE coming out, and have been coming out, and this is OUR cause. This is our cause to work on the best way we can, to try and be Frum and gay, to try and be proud of who we are after years and years of being to scared to speak up- or even specifically being told to keep silent. I'm not for an all gay Orthodox community, b/c the Jewish religion is not about separating and branching off (no matter how many jokes you want to make about break-away shuls), Judaism is about community and I, for one, do not want to leave the world I grew up, and feel part of, just because it may not be the most comfortable at this time. I will fight to stay in the world I love and in the community I've always belonged to because it feels right.

I am not alone, and I realize now I never was, ever. None of us are alone, just because we feel alienated, we are making strides every day for homosexuals to be accepted (I do NOT say permitted) in the Orthodox community. I love all of you out there, fighting with me to understand what it means to be Frum and gay. And good luck.


  1. Very nice blog! It's a "One Day at a time " for me struggling with being frumm and gay. What get me through this daily is something that I once heard . When you incorportate daily ruchnius - spritual things in your life , the shechinah (G-d) is powerful with you and when you do things daily not in a Ruchnius way, the Shechinah is not with you.

  2. Inspiring words I would like to add though that within the confines of the way you have described the Jewish community while it is wholesome and includes everyone there are fundamental restrictions which are still necessary to be outlined being frum and gay means dealing with it with the help and support of others not acting on those desires. Best of luck to you with your battle.

  3. I also negleceted to mention above that you the blogger also m'chazek - gives me strength bli ayain harah for getting through as well!


  5. I raise my glass and open my heart to my frum cousins. As a Progressive Jew I have it so much easier than you. And it brakes my heart that is is so.

    I offer my support and friendship and yearn for the day when the Jewish community is indeed a WHOLE community.



  6. Damien... we r all brothers and sisters... but i guess its semantics in that the goal should be to struggle and help each other as a family.

    Ely -

    Keep on being a role model for the frum and struggling! Your a role model to me and I am sure many others who are jsut to weak and scared to recognize how much of a hero you are to people going through what you are in life.

  7. Its wonderful that your both frum and gay, its wonderful that being gay you don't have to give up being frum

  8. it's wonderful that jqy held an event at y.u. during the nine days.

  9. As a fellow Orthodox Gay Jew I do not agree with much of what you write on this blog, but I will concede the point that many people apparently read your blog. I'd like to suggest that you write a posting regarding the dangers that promiscuity from web-initiated hookups, like those proposed on Craigslist, pose for the individuals engaged in them as well as the wider Jewish community. It is my sincere belief that the risks associated with these sexual rendezvous' go beyond health and disease and would thus be a worthwhile topic for your discussion.


It Gets Better- Gay Orthodox Jews