Saturday, December 5, 2009

The head or heart

Don't get me wrong, I know there are positives and negatives to both sides of every coin.
But this is a question I would say I haven't asked myself since i was 16. Should I listen to my head or to my heart? Should I do what feels right or what I know to be right? I'm posing this question to everyone.
Personally, It was a matter of Gay or Straight. My head said be straight- it's normal it's what everyone does. My heart said there's nothing as important to me as being with another guy. But this applies in many situations (this is lame and high school but wtvr)- Should I go to the party where there will be drugs or stay home and be bored? Its the mind or the heart.
I recently had a long conversation with someone, and after rlly connecting on a new level, the last thing we discussed was this. We were very in sync about a lot of things so I was shocked when it came up that this person sayis "I always make decisions with my head and brain" and I said "I always make decisions with my heart".
So when it comes down to it, this doesn't make or break a relationship, but it can lead people to two completely different paths. Just something I've been thinking about. Is there even one right answer to apply across the board? Or is this a case-by-case situation? Sound off below.
Oh, and does this necessarily have religious ramifications- does the Torah, or any religion, promote thinking with your mind over your heart of vice-versa?


  1. all the time-
    "v'lo sasuru acharei levavchem v'acahrei anaichem"
    pretty explicit here- mind over heart...

  2. That says don't "stray", i never said following a person's heart meant directly "straying". it can mean doing that's not wrong, it's just against your what your mind is saying.

  3. With all due respect to the author of the blog, I have to agree somewhat with the first comment, at least in the context of this post.
    If one were to choose gay over straight (assuming there is such a choice) and then acts on that choice it would be considered straying in all senses of the word (which in this case is straying from the torah)
    So, following one's heart can be to stray.
    just what i think...

  4. I agree. Following one's heart can be straying. but not always. And in the context of the homosexuality issue, it is, but I wanted to be more broad rather than specific to one issue.

  5. Neither your head nor your heart can be trusted completely. Your head is filled with things put in there by your parents, by teachers and rabbis, by society, by the media -- things which you have never examined or audited for truth. Your heart, of course, has no logic. It wants what it wants, consequences be damned.

    "Many of the basic assumptions that guide our daily choices are unconscious, unseen. We have assimilated Uncle Ted's advice on tire purchases, Aunt Liv's guidance concerning the color red, the sixth-grade bully's contempt for the Red Sox, an entire lifetime of half-heard conversations and misinterpreted advice -- and it all figures somehow into our daily decision making...

    The point is, we have all been programmed, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally, to an extent that most of us are only vaguely aware of."

    Rolf Gates, yoga instructor, wrote that in his book Meditations from the Mat. And he wasn't even considering Orthodox Judaism, which intentionally programmed all of us, for hours a day for years.

    When you listen to your heart, you need to make sure to consider the consequences. When you listen to your brain, you need to make sure that it's not just regurgitating dogma put in there by others or based on the logical fallacies and biases that are endemic to human brains. And that is a very hard thing to do.


It Gets Better- Gay Orthodox Jews