Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Novelty Item

I try not to complain about the mundane things, especially anything about my friends b/c I love them so much, and am so honored to have them in my life. But some friends (usually guys), be it individuals or groups as a whole, tend to focus on one part of me- my sexuality. I know it's not purposely, I know I am some what of a novelty item within the Orthodox Community and people have questions and that's fine and I'm here to answer them.

But honestly, sometimes it's hard to talk about it all the time, every day, every conversation. Especially when there's so much more to me, and especially when it's such a struggling issue, it's painful to talk about all the time. Sometimes it's my own fault for bringing it up in conversation, but usually my friends just want to know about different things- sometimes it's gay sex, sometimes gaydar, sometimes the struggles of religion, sometimes it's rating their attractiveness. It's hard for me to be this "topic of conversation", this person there to answer their questions- when I know that if I wasn't in their lives, they would never ask anyone else and it wouldn't be a big deal.

It's a little bit frustrating. Do they go around asking their straight girl friends who are girls which one of them is best looking? Rarely. It's not a comfortable position for them to put me in- even though they obviously don't do it purposely. And I don't stop them- sometimes it's nice to be the center of attention. But sometimes it's just awkward and I don't like being a novelty item.

I love all my friends and appreciate each and every relationship I have. Just wanted to vent a bit.


  1. nice post. it might be worthwhile to post more about the other parts of your personality to truly illustrate the point.

  2. DUDE: what do u mean "why do they focus so much on my sexuality?"
    seriously, u are bringing it on urself.

  3. With all due respect Governor,
    While the blog focuses on my sexuality mostly, yes, that's because it is the area in which I struggle the most, and the most interesting and important subject matter for those who read the blog- Jews from all diferent walks of life, going through their own struggles. Who wants to read a blog about my mundane daily activities. That is what I have my friends for- to have fun, to chill. If I'm having a personal issue, I go to them- but not to be the only part of my life.

  4. TV Shows are for GaysFebruary 4, 2010 at 12:39 AM

    Frum Gay, why don't you share with us the other aspects to your life?

    I am sure they are fascinating!

  5. I understand, although nowhere as intese as the the life path you are on, as a recent convert (age 49) in a Synagogue where this is not something they are used to, most of what folks want to talk to me about is me....but not the whole me, the convert me....sometimes I go along, but recently (it has been 2 years !) I have started to use humor with those I know can take it......for those who are very close to you pull them aside and let them know...I have done that as well...or use the Nonsense response :
    Friend" ooo is that guy gay, you must know..."
    you " I think it is going to snow."

    also as others have posted, do tell more about the whole you....I would love to see you share.



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