Sunday, November 21, 2010


I wanted to post one more post about bullying before moving off the topic. Since the video was released just over a week ago, I've had the time to hear and read a lot of responses to what we posted. Also, bullying was covered in a recent episode of Glee, and there has been a lot of conversation sparked about that- whether or not it was done correctly. What I'm going to say is definitely not something that everyone agrees with, it's just my own opinion.

Bullying is wrong. It's wrong for any one person to feel they have the right to put down another person, physically or verbally- there is no excuse. This can be especially traumatizing in the elementary and high school years when someone is at the pivotal moments of defining who they are in life. Glee did two things- pointed out that gay bullying was wrong, and implied that a bully is just projecting their inner issues onto the person that they bully. It's not true that every gay basher is gay, although it does happen, and that's the scenario the show chose to present.

Now considering that bullying is wrong across the board, an issue that has been raised is why is gay bullying so much worse? Everyone gets picked on in high school, and everyone manages to get through it. Everyone is bashed in one way or another and everyone needs to learn how to cope in life, so why is gay bashing "a hate crime"? Does the world spoil and protect gay people like they're children?

My answer, yes. The world does spoil gay people. The world does promote gay bullying as worse than any other form of oppression. But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. The number of suicides and depression rates amongst LGBTQ teens is higher than any other teen population. Very often, being gay is a struggle that causes enough hurt and pain internally. When you add bullying to the issues already facing an LGBTQ teen, it only intensifies the terrible trauma they can go through. So again, yes, I thin gay bullying is an issue that gets a lot of attention and I think people who are gay do get protected and coddled a bit from society. But I think it's all for the right reasons, and completely appropriate.


  1. If you create a group of people that should be treated differently from how other people are treated then do not be surprised if these people develop a victim mentality. Black people often have the victim mentality. Women often have the victim mentality. And lots of gay people have the victim mentality.

    The victim mentality is self-destructive and counter-productive. It needs to be entirely avoided.

    Treating gay people as a new group of people that need to be treated more sensitively is the wrong way to proceed.

    The problem is bullying. That is the problem. All bullying is wrong, do not focus on gays, just include that as a subset of bullying. And no group of people should be given a privledge that their bullying be treated more sensitively over other kinds of people. Doing so only creates the victim - which is pretty bad too.

  2. Don't you just love being coddled and protected by society while they tell you that you are an immoral germ to be hated feared and avoided? Isn't it grand being spoiled by a people who would vote against their own best interests as long as they can elect a politician who opposes granting you rights?

  3. Bullying was also covered recently on the Simpsons. After Bart gets on Nelson's bad side, Marge tells Bart to make Nelson feel good about himself to appease the bully and make him stop his bullying. In the episode, Bart compliments nelson's punching technique and they're soon best of friends. For what it's worth

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  5. I don't think that anti-LGBT bullying should be given special treatment over other forms of bullying. Bullying can have horrible, often fatal results for children, no matter the cause of the bullying.

    However, anti-LGBT bullying requires special emphasis, not because it is worse than other forms of bullying, but because it is not viewed as problematic by all of society. Thus, while bullying someone for being fat is just as bad as bullying someone for being gay, the victim of the latter must undergo two hardships: the bullying and society's subsequent failure to recognize it as a problem.

    Thus, until "that's so gay" is viewed as seriously as "fatso," anti-LGBT bullying needs special attention.

  6. "Thus, until 'that's so gay' is viewed as seriously as 'fatso', anti-LGBT bullying needs special attention.":

    Words are not the problem. I could not care for words or stereotypes. Bullying, that is the problem. Focusing on words is focusing on something unimportant. Besides if you treat words and phrases are evil then you give them the power and make them evil. You make the problem worse then what it is.

  7. Words are definatley a HUGE problem. If we make the term "that's so gay" then kids begin to associate the word gay with bad. Gay hatred needs to be stopped at the source. In my opinion this is the source. Parents and teachers need to be teaching the next generation to be loving and tolerant of all people not just the cookie cutter all American family. This goes for racism and all other forms of hatred and against people as well. Have a great night all!

  8. "Words are definatley a HUGE problem.":

    Words are only a problem if you make them into a problem. If you use sensitivity training then you will turn people into sensitive beings. If you learn to be insensitive then you will be bothered by non-sense like this.

    "Gay hatred needs to be stopped at the source. In my opinion this is the source."

    No, this is not the source. The source is being against people who are different from you. That is the root of the problem. I got no problem with gays (I am bi myself) but I have no issue with saying "that is so gay", I say it all the time. Just like I got no problem with anti-Jewish humor. Because I am capable of separating the joke from the actual problem.

  9. Omg I don't know who you are but I don't think anyone would agree with you. Why you think is absolutely wrong in my opinion.

  10. "Omg I don't know who you are but I don't think anyone would agree with you. Why you think is absolutely wrong in my opinion.":

    That is your problem, not my problem.

    I am friends with a gay guy (not Jewish). I sometimes make gay stereotypes as a joke and he makes Jewish stereotypes as a joke. We both laugh at these jokes and nobody ever gets hurt.

    We are able to separate hatred from humor. That is why it does not bother us. And that is why we are unbothered with these words. So it is not my problem. Because I am able to draw this separation. If you cannot draw this separation then that is your problem.

  11. That is between friends. But when you hear a kid say that game is so gay and he only says this bc he hates the game is bad. He is associating the word gay with bad. If I hated you and I said you were so gay only bc I hated you would you take no offense! Using the word gay to say something is bad is unacceptable. I think everyone will agree with me.

  12. "But when you hear a kid say that game is so gay and he only says this bc he hates the game is bad. He is associating the word gay with bad.":

    Not always. It depends on the person.

    I think male figure skaing is a gay sport. I do not mean anything bad about it except that it is very girly. If I see something which is really boring I may say "real gay". I seperate "gay" from homosexuals and just use it to refer to the state of being boring.

    Am I aware that there are people who take offense with what I say? Sure, but I do not care about those sensitive people. Because I believe in something called "insensitivity training".

    If say that certain words and expressions cannot be said then you give them the power. If you say "you so gay" is evil to say then you give this phrase power. And with power it hurts the sensitive people. But I see it differently. If you treat all words alike and do not pay attention to sensitivity then you make all those words lose their power.

  13. Wow. I agree with "Baruch Spinoza's" point about how we give words their power by paying attention to them. Which is why I think that henceforth we should ignore every word that "Baruch Spinoza" writes on this wall. They obviously reflect a deeper bias than the surface issue of calling something "gay"- the argument is going in circles and frankly, makes little sense.

    Loved your post, Ely. Good night all.

  14. Laugninlili thank you so much you are my hero!!!

  15. "Which is why I think that henceforth we should ignore every word that he writes on this wall.":

    Instead of trying to show where I make a mistake just ignore me. None of you explained where I was wrong. You just kept on saying how wrong I am and what you think.

    "makes little sense.":

    It makes so little sense that somehow people cannot challenge me and explain why I am wrong.

    As George Carlin said (in reference to using the word nigger): There is nothing wrong with words, it is the context in which they are used which makes them good or bad.

    I am able to see the context, you are not.

  16. To say that words don't matter is just as stupid as thinking making gay jokes and jewish jokes are ok, because they are humorous. Are you kidding me? You have no idea if your friend actually thinks what youre saying is funny, or if they are just playing along because they dont want you to think that they are too sensitive.
    Also, saying male figure skating is gay because it is very girly is ignorant and exactly what Ely is trying to discourage with his brave words.
    Honestly, if this is how you feel, please get off his blog

  17. "To say that words don't matter is just as stupid as thinking making gay jokes and jewish jokes are ok, because they are humorous.":

    They do matter. They matter to people like you. They matter to people who are unable to seperate the word from the context. They matter to people who practice sensitivity training.

    They do not matter to people like me. They do not matter to people who are able to seperate the word from the context. They do not matter to people who practice insensitivity training.

    There is a good South Park episode. The word "fag" is used to refer to people who ride loud motorcycles. The boys of South Park redirect the word to motorcycle riders by calling them fags. The entire point of the episode is that these words are not magical and they have no power. Only what you put into them. If you redirect the word fag to people who ride loud motorycles then you create a context to insult a new group of people. But you are unable to realize this simple observation.


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