Monday, November 8, 2010

Two Roads

Recently I have been faced with different decisions which all seemed like viable options- I wished I could pick them all. How does someone know when a path is right or wrong? Is there something that is necessarily right or wrong? How does a person decide what path to take when faced with two options?

What I tried to do was choose whatever would be best in the long run. I wanted to choose what would be best down the road and stick with it, remembering all the reasons I chose one path over another. Not only that, but when making a decision for the future, I try to own that decision. I don't pick a path and constantly talk to others about how I wish I had done something else or maybe the other path would have been better. Because while that may be true, there's nothing you can do to switch paths once you've set a road in motion. I'm all for keeping options open and a person with the freedom to choose whatever is good for them, but there are times when you can't change something that's been set in motion (and to not contradict myself- sexuality is NOT one of those things, it is fluid and you can change paths even once you've chosen one). It's important not to foster doubt or constantly be confused over what I should be doing in my life, but instead understand what I've chosen and even when I doubt it, assure myself that I am happy with the road I am on.

When you're traveling on one path, it's only natural to wonder what life would be like had you made a different decision. However, there's nothing wrong with admitting that there was another path that could've been right for you. Just don't drive yourelf crazy wondering what if, and be happy with what is.

Note: this post has nothing to do with my decision to come out or not, I'm completely sure that being gay and religious was the right thins for me.


  1. There is also a "derech aruchah she-hi ketzarah" and vice versa. Sometimes you don't know if you've chosen the right road until you've reached the end of the road.

  2. "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." Words directly from G-d. But if you understand G-d, then you understand what that really means. If a man is not meant to lie with a woman, then he can never lie with a man the same way as with a woman. It's an abomination to not be true to yourself. Accept G-d, accept yourself, and accept all around you, even the ones who can't see past themselves (and the physical world) to understand the true message.

  3. Two roads diverge in a yellow wood and you, you took the road less traveled by and sucked the wood and that has made all the FAG difference!

  4. Not funny. In fact, hateful and rude.

  5. Yeah, that was unfortunate...

    To quote Sondheim:

    You decide what's right, you decide what's good. Just remember, someone is on your side...

    Hard to see the light now, just don't let it go. Things will come out right now. We can make it so. Someone is on your side, no one is alone.


It Gets Better- Gay Orthodox Jews