So here is a response to some comments from the last post, claiming that once I've "given up" by violating such a "heinous crime", the community has the right to turn their backs on a sinner.
I ask- Who has given up on whom?
Personally, I have not given up on either. Giving up would be turning my back on the community, because that is the easier route for and orthodox Jew in handling sexuality, to give up, to go live their lives however they please and forget about what the Torah says. Giving up could also be giving up on sexuality, and spending my life alone, in pain and suffering, not wanting to hurt a woman who I would never truly love, but not wanting to violate such a severe prohibition in the Torah, so I would be alone. I have chosen neither of those. I have given up on nothing. I have embraced both aspects of my life the best I can.
If you tell me the community has the right to give up on me for violating a commandment by commiting such a heinous crime- I beg of you- close your doors to every Jew! because every Jew has their skeletons in their closet, and every Jew is in violation of something, somewhere. And I know, I make my sin public knowledge- but I ask, do I actually? Do I run around telling everyone if I am or am not sexually active? If I have or have not committed any avierah? No. I simply state that I am a gay Orthodox Jew. I have an attraction to men. In stating that, I am being honest with myself and the world- and if that is a sin, then excommunicate the heterosexuals too, in particular the unmarried ones who are 'announcing' that they are straight and have desires that they may or may not act upon.
So who has given up on whom?
Because if the community shuns individuals such as myself, and all sinners, there will be no one left in Orthodoxy.