Sunday, March 28, 2010

Opportunities

After coming out a lot of things changed for me. But i'm not even speaking personally, but professionally. I knew I was closing off my life from opportunities within the Yeshiva day schools or summer camps or NCSY, and it hurt, but I hoped somehow it would all be worth it. I came to YU b/c the opportunities of places to go from there within the Jewish Community- even out of the closet- were much greater than anywhere else.

While at YU I took a few small leadership opportunities and did a few things to keep myself content. But i knew it wasn't enough. I was just so scared that if I took more opportunities I would be rejected because of who I was. Or I wouldn't be comfortable on certain programs or people wouldn't be comfortable with me- rooming with them, hanging out with them, because while yes, the Orthodox world may need to open up a little more, it scared me to be the one to do it- and I didn't need to force them. If people wanted to open up, I was here, but if they didn't I didn't want to make trouble. But it really came at a high price as I missed out on some amazing experiences.

So recently, I took one of those experiences and applied to work within YU next year. I'm done sitting on the sidelines, and I just want to work within the Jewish community- and maybe even within the Modern Orthodox community, if they'll have me. I'm tired of running away from opportunities, and I'm tired of letting my fear of what trouble others may perceive me of causing, even though I never did anything of the sort, get in the way of where I want to go. So good luck to me on getting the job, if not, onto more endeavors.

8 comments:

  1. hang in there...

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  2. the Jewish world needs you :)

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  3. hey, if you can get the job your doing better than most graduates today...

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  4. I'm not Anonymous. I'm Shloimy Notik and I'm so proud of you for recognizing this and for being so in touch with yourself to know what you want and why you've avoided/feared what you want. Go you for being real and brave and best of luck with job/every other kind of opportunity in your life.

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  5. rooting for u!! i think u can be very "presidential" next yr ;)

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  6. just remember that if they say no it isnt because youre gay, its because youre probably unqualified...

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  7. best of luck ely... as long as its coming from a good place and not an "in your face" kind of place which knowing you, I dont think it is! Keep on rockin and showing everyone that even though the struggle is hard... its worth it for others out their who still donno how to deal with it!

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  8. If you're still applying, much luck. And keep on writing.

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It Gets Better- Gay Orthodox Jews