Saturday, April 10, 2010


So there are a lot of topics on my mind right now, I've had some time to think over Pesach, and I'll do a blog prob every few days this week. One thing on my mind, especially as I spend a lot of time around family- the most judgmental element in anyone's life- is the broad topic of maturity. What is maturity? What defines someone as mature or immature- is it all based on societal values or is it personal opinion?

A few examples- going our with friends to bars, and getting drunk- mature or immature? Sleeping in on various mornings, even Shabbat- mature or immature? Thinking outside the box, going against the norm- mature or rebellious and immature? These questions plague me daily, as I do worry about society's perception of me (another issue itself, but not for now), and how I look in other people's eyes. My conclusions are obviously not in any way final or even correct, they've just been the way I've made sense of this topic in my head:

When I was younger, a teen, everyone told me how mature I was for my age. Now, as an adult, I don't get that comment- ever- and have even been called immature by some, even though my thinking is as forward and developed as it has ever been. Because I think at a certain point, like as one begins college- everyone is considered mature. Everyone has reached a level of expected behavior and that behavior is mature. The only ones we now judge are those who don't live up to it and call them immature. I rarely can recall a person in high school who was "immature", someone was just more mature than the rest- and now people are just more immature than the rest.

Regardless of the questions I asked above, I think it's important, as I try to do, to judge your own personal behavior based on what you believe is right for you to be doing. If you need to have fun, have fun, if you're tired, sleep. But if your intentions are to "never grow up" or to overly indulge in activities without attempting to think about your life and the greater scheme of things, that's immature.


  1. FrumGay,
    You make many interesting and valid points I don't even have much to add other than that I feel maturity is subjective based on the people whom you surround yourself with so while in one groups eyes you may be immature it doesn't necessarily mean you are immature across the board. I have friends who believe sleeping in is a sign of immaturity I believe sometimes one needs o in order to achieve maximum productivity in the days to come. Keep the postings coming!

  2. Great topic! I think a word that goes along with maturity is responsibility. If a person is responsible and people can rely on him/her, that person is mature, even if they don't conform to every norm that people may expect of them. One person's self expression is another person's rebellion. Someone who is a major conformist and never veers off the path of least resistance may be the real immature one.

  3. I think you said it best in your third paragraph. What it comes down to, and this is actually the case with most subjective matters, is expectations.

    Regardless of what someone is actually doing, your expectations of that person will be what defines your reaction to that person's actions.


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