I promise this is not about any of my friends that are reading this blog. It's very personal, and involves ppl you don't know.
After finally coming out and becoming more confident with that aspect of my life, I finally found inner peace that i hadn't had since puberty. With that, I took the time to work on myself- find my strengths, find my weaknesses, and find all the things that made me who I am.
It doesn't matter how old you are, peer pressure will always exist. That's what makes the world go round and what's creates societies and builds cultures. Everyone influences each other. Its really important to constantly be aware of who you surround yourself with and the people you let into your life on a daily basis. Because as strong and as confident a person you are, others will always have an influence on what you do.
Recently I've been struggling with a fundamental of my religion because many of my friends were also, until I realized that just b/c they were struggling, that didn't make them better or stronger or more important ppl b/c of their difficulties. B/c I certainly have my own struggles and if there are few things about my life and who I am that I am confident in, there is no reason to give that up- it doesn't make me look better or worse in my friends eyes.
I am just me, and that's all I want to be, and that's all any of us should be- ourselves.
gut voch ely! we should never be complacent! We should be ourselves but within that framework their is always room for growth! (spiritual, intellectual, etc.) We should surround ourselves with those people that facilitate growth and not chas vshalom take us down!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure of the manners in which you approach Torah and being gay, but I can say as I straight person I share certain of your struggles; no 'kosher' venues for natural drives, etc. related, I grew up in a butch lesbian home that over the years became 'straight' and married - while my dad became a tranny so...I got issues.
ReplyDeleteI'm very please to hear you say this. Shkoyach!
ReplyDelete"my dad became a tranny"
ReplyDeleteoh, I am so sorry about that. May Hashem give you strength and clarity to deal with your issues!
Ely, I have read every single one of your posts, and i must say that this is your best one. Short and potent.
ReplyDelete